Marriage can be the most gratifying relationship you’ll ever have and it can also be the most heart-wrenching. When a marriage is balanced and strong it feels like nothing can touch it. You wonder how you lived in the years before you met your wife because she truly does complete you. When the marriage is traveling down rockier roads, things seem to have less clarity. You worry about everything and you have a nagging, constant doubt in the back of your mind about whether your marriage is going to survive.
If your marriage has seen better days you need to learn how to fix things with your wife. You have to find ways to deal with the conflicts you two are facing, pull her closer emotionally again and build a stronger foundation for the two of you to build your future on together.
Before you can begin to fix things within your troubled marriage you must identify what is the core problem. All couples squabble about things including the best way to raise the children, how to finances in the positive and where to spend summer vacation. It’s when those small disagreements boil over into major disputes that a couple begins to have problems. If there is too much conflict or tension within your relationship you must pinpoint the source of that. The only effective way to do that is to discuss the marriage with your partner. This is a challenge in itself but if you have some understanding as to how to approach the subject with your wife, it will make things a lot less stressful.
Ask her calmly if she’d like to talk about what she feels in relation to the marriage. It’s vital that you don’t choose a time to do this when you two are embroiled in a bitter debate. You both need to be calm and detached from any recent arguments. It’s best not to broach the subject during a dinner out or while the children are present. Pick a time when you know that you two will have time alone and when you both are feeling somewhat emotionally balanced.
You must give your wife the emotional support she needs in order to feel safe enough to share her innermost thoughts. If she feels that you’re going to pounce on her words in defense of your own position that will result in her holding back. Be clear that you feel that your marriage is in trouble and you are deeply concerned and you want to remedy it. Explain that you know that she’ll have some difficult things to share regarding her feelings for you but you are prepared to hear them and to use them to help you to be a better partner for her. If she genuinely feels that you have her best interests at heart, she’ll be more inclined to feel comfortable sharing what she feels is at the root of your failing relationship.
Communication needs to be an ongoing process. You two have to get in the habit of sharing what you feel. If a couple can get to a point where they each feel comfortable talking about what’s on their mind in a controlled way, the marriage won’t face huge struggles or life-altering conflicts anymore.