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Like It or Lump It List

Like It or Lump It ListLike It or Lump It List

I’ve heard it said that some people reinvent themselves. In some cases, it would be better to scrap them and start over. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way. At 63, I’m working at reinventing myself to 36. The body may not go backward, but the mind sure does.

As we get older, I suppose it’s normal to assess ourselves. Being Christian and trying to walk the love walk, I analyze myself and, as is so common, I put myself down. I see Jesus at the top as where I want to be, then the rest of the Christian world, and then I see myself at the bottom, with lots of room for improvement.

The book of Ephesians in the Bible tells us to wear the armor of God, which consists of loins girt with truth, the breastplate of righteousness, feet shod with the gospel of peace, the shield of faith, the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit which is the word of God. I’m supposed to be warring against evil, and I do to some extent, but I find myself more and more engaged in a battle against the ravages of time. The armor I wear is somewhat different from the biblical description.
My loins are girt all right, enclosed almost to the knees in a baggy tunic. Now, my breastplate, this being a defensive apparatus, I would have to say is a sports bra. It does the job and it’s comfortable too. I don’t like things lying in my lap.

Third, my feet are generally shod, but not with stilettos. Sweetie, I’m top-heavy and have artificial knees. I would move like a crippled spider. Mules or tennies are comfy, and sandals show off painted toes.
Fourth, the shield I move behind is a large, bag-like purse wherein I stash a hat, books, sun screen, antacid, and flip flops. It’s important to note there are two types of bag ladies. Type two is the ally variety, but the alpha is the cool, socially acceptable internet-reading woman of the world. I like to think of myself in terms of the latter.

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Number five is the helmet which, in my case, is the auburn to chestnut to dark brown mane that, amazingly, is not showing any gray. At least I try to keep it that way. However, if I catch a glimpse of myself somewhere and I scare myself, I go back to the fourth item of armor and pull a hat out of the bag. And last of all the sword, which, more often than not, is my word and not God’s. I have a big mouth and I make fun of everything. It works. The world needs more laughing.

As we get older, we develop this mentality-it’s O.K. to be me. I’m the real deal. Like it or lump it. Whatever, I’ve developed my own bucket list of attributes to handle this era in my life where I find an old woman looking back at me in the mirror. It must be a cheap, circus-type mirror to make me look fat and lopsided. That’s NOT what I look like. Anyway, after my self-assessment, my list may not work for you, but it does for me. Like I said, I’m O.K.

Here we go:

* Read the Bible and live it. Walk the walk.
* Don’t be too hard on yourself. Keep trying to be better.
* Take good care of your health. Take vitamins to make up for what’s lacking in your diet. It will make you smile from the inside out.
* Take your diet pills with hot cocoa. You’ll sleep better.
*Laugh hard, loud, and often.

Remember, God made the duck-billed platypus first. Then He made you. So, the platypus may be goofy on the outside, but we humans are funny to the core, and I think we just get better with age. You can agree with me if you like, or lump it and make your own list-just as long as you’re O.K. with you.

What do you think?

Written by healthymealss

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